It’s Not Me, It’s You.
Scott Patt’s work. Check out http://www.scottpatt.com for more clever twists on common phrases turned into billboard style pop art.
It is also important to realise that when adults bully other adults, it is because they are unhappy with some critical aspect of their life and have insufficient maturity to deal with their problems in a compassionate manner. Instead, bullies tend to take out their anger on others, spreading bad energy and sowing seeds of resentment. They can bully aggressively, abusively, verbally, passive-aggressively, and plain passively. Bullying can take various forms: as isolating the victim from social events and circles, public humiliation, extreme anger over trivial matters, yelling, setting the victim up for failure by not providing crucial information, or ignoring the victim.
While these methods seem premeditated and quite vicious, they are actually just really bad habits, and the adult version of a screaming child’s antics. I’m determined to consider these two difficult months as the world’s challenge to me to practice emotional non-reactivity, a challenging goal for me (my dad affectionately calls me Miss. Drama Queen Kaori when I begin to whine too much). It does no-one any good if I get my head stuck in this awful space and let toxic resentment bleed into my free time. It is best to learn my lesson, and move forward quickly.
I’ve been challenged, learned, and despite my complaints, have had lots of fun.
Cliché, I know, but… I suppose that is just life?
My tired face after work.
A sly photo of the train goers across the aisle. The landscape whizzes by at top speed, while the people within the train gently nod off to sleep, whisper with their friends, or most often, glue their faces to their smart phones. I might sound ancient when I say this, but its a pity that few people read the newspaper or paper books anymore.
One day I got so antsy I boarded a train to the middle of nowhere and wandered around the fields in the middle of the night. I came across a tractor and decided to sit in it and stare up at the stars. I was content from eating a large bowl of ramen, and I could hear the crickets. I was sorely tempted to stay the night. Did I? No….
If I could encapsulate my feelings in one grimace towards these difficult two months, this would be the face that would be the IT face.
Reading Rousseau has kept me sane through this 2 month long work debacle. In Reveries of the Solitary Walker, he has been cast out of a petty and hurtful society into nature, and into himself. He reflects on ways his hardships have blessed him with inner awareness and contentment with a simple life in nature. Not only does Rousseau deal with his problems like a pro but he also scribes his insights for his readers, (even though he has lost any trust in readership and authorship). Readers like me, who are struggling with jarring societal expectation, a toxic atmosphere, and are striving to find some sort of peace amidst it all.
I’ll be gone soon, living the island life. No doubt I’ll be working really hard.There won’t be rice fields on the island. Here in the countryside, rice paddies are everywhere. Old people tend to the fields, either driving hefty threshing machines or harvesting them by hand. Apparently beta fish thrive in rice paddies, and feed off of mosquito larvae. If you squat by the side of the road and look down into the paddy, you can see loads of tadpoles milling about, at different stages of maturation, while fully developed tiny frogs hop around. (The frogs are the size of your thumbnail!)
The island will be amazing, because it will offer an immersive lingual and cultural experience. My time in Saitama was spent amongst foreigners, and few Japanese words passed our lips, so I wasn’t able to learn the language in a hands-on environment. On the island, I’ll constantly have to work on my Japanese language ability for any hope of survival. (Maybe I’m being dramatic- one of my hosts can speak intermediate English.)
And so glad I’m a dual citizen (America & Japan) so that I will never have to rely on a work visa and get stuck in a bad situation.